She's always been a bad ass like this. Love!
Dear 2001 BMW F650GS,
I call you Rumble Bee. I know it’s kitschy, baby. I’m sorry. We don’t all get to have awesome names like mine. Hey, at least you have a clutch. Do you know how many times I wish I could have disengaged my gears? Especially the ones that run the freak show in my head?
Baby, you were a freak today. I don’t know what got into you, but you had me racin’ down the dirty unpaved sinews of these Black Hills. Plunging into muddy rutts. Creepin’ up steep slippery slopes…climbin’ mountains, baby! Mountains! You and me. Climbin!
You’ve always been sexy. Remember when we met?
The Rumble Bee's getting restless to get riding
I rolled up to meet you in my big black truck…hey, Tilly (truck’s name) was love at first sight with you. She wanted to tie you up in her bed right then and there. I told her to, “Chill out, bitch!” And shut her off, so we could meet each other in peace. Properly.
I get out. I see you and your hot little yellow-and-black body. All tough lookin’. Ehh…but I get up a little closer, and what do I see? Shitty handgrips. Baby, don’t front…they were SHITTY! All old and spongy. Nasty!
Other than that though…baby, you had it going on. I took a good long look at you. Oogled at your ass. Tried to undress you with my eyes to see if I could detect anything wrong in you. Did you leak? Did you make funny noises? Did you have parts that…well…let’s face it, darlin’, you ain’t exactly in your prime anymore! You’re an ’01, babes. Old.
Mmm, but you hadn’t seen too many miles though. About 9,800 miles if I remember right. Still under 10,000 was pretty rare for a girl your age.
I test rode you…only a couple miles, but it was enough, baby. It was all I needed. Really, you had me at the cough of your starter. You were coming home with me that night.
…And now look at your big-booty-boxin’ ass! I gave you some sweet steel crash bars and some bad ass rubber on your rims, and now you perch around the mountain like you own the damn place!
And this was a new thing for us today, wasn’t it baby? We didn’t have many dirt roads and woody paths back in Boston, did we hun?
We've seen some trials and tribulations, but we love each other. We'll be together until one of us dies. Probably her. Hopefully, not at the same time.
I’m glad we’re on this trip together. I’m glad I chose you out of all those other bikes out there…
Oh? What’s that? What about yesterday?
Don’t worry about it, baby. Every now and then, we all blow out our radiators. It happens to the best of us. I checked with the Germans, and they said it’s a known issue for the year you were born. Don’t sweat it. Hey, we got you fixed up. Good as new.
Anyway baby…how you performed today…the way you did it the way I wanted you, and how you showed me what you YOU WERE WORKING WITH? Rollin’ over big honkin’ rocks, kickin up dirt and gettin’ nasty when you had to! I’ll never forget it. Ever.
I hope to be on you for many, many miles to come on whatever kind of roads this world throws at us.
And baby, the fact that our first time together doin’ it out in the woods was in a threesome with the girl I had on your back seat?! Freak, baby. Straight freak.
Darlin’, they don’t make ’em like you anymore.
I had to get off to move a downed tree out the mountain path.